Long Sentences

"No iron can pierce the heart with such force as a period put just at the right place." –Isaac Babel

Though we prefer different genres, my husband and I sometimes recommend something we like to one another. Lately he hasn’t been recommending much. In fact, he’s been frustrated with his reading selections and has even quit reading a book after only 22 pages. The reason—long sentences.

In Salman Rushdie’s Midnight’s Children, he showed me a sentence that started in the middle of Page 391 and ended at the top of page 393. I was going to count the words but I kept losing my place. I can tell you, however, there were about 43 commas and 5 semicolons before the period made its appearance.

Though I tried reading the passage, I never made my way through it. It seemed more like an action scene than a stream of consciousness, but I haven’t read the book so I can’t be sure. In other words, I couldn’t figure out why Rushdie didn’t break the thought down into a more readable format. Perhaps that’s simply his voice.

That sentence turned out to be short in comparison to the next one my husband bought to my attention.

In 2666 by Robert Bolaño, a sentence began near the top of page 18 and did not see a period ending it until near the end of page 22. (That’s about the length of my chapters in The Ride.) I tried to read this passage as well. I couldn’t. I couldn’t even keep my interest going long enough to count commas. During a cursory glance, I didn’t notice any semicolons and I saw only one colon.

After encountering that sentence, my husband lost all interest in the book and returned it to the shelf unread.

I can’t help but wonder what makes a writer think it’s necessary to use…a run-on sentence seems like an understatement, but I don’t know what else to call these examples.

I did a minimal amount of research trying to figure out the purpose for long sentences. I couldn’t find any reason. I did discover, however, that long sentences are nothing new. Supposedly, a sentence in Les Miserables by Victor Hugo is 823 words long; Ullyses by James Joyce has 4,391 words in one sentence; Jonathan Coe’s, The Rotter’s Club has a 13,955 word sentence; and, The Blah Story, Volume 4, by Nigel Tomm is 732 pages long and consists of only one sentence with 469,375 words.

I don’t think I’ll be picking up a copy Tomm’s book for my husband’s upcoming birthday.

Do long sentences drive you nuts? Can you see any reason to use them? Have you read anything lately by an author who embraces them?

On Saturday, May 1, I’ll be a guest at Karen Cioffi – Writing for Children blog. I’ll be talking about first sentences in books for children. I hope you’ll have the opportunity to visit.

Thanks for stopping by today.


Tags: Isaac Babel , Salman Rushdie, Robert Bolano, Nigel Tomm, long sentences, run on sentences,

Novel Setting Results in Lawsuit

“Avoid lawsuits beyond all things; they pervert your conscience, impair your health, and dissipate your property.”- Jean de la Bruyere

I like reading books that use authentic locations. I think they add a little zest to fiction. Familiar places can make a particular scene easy visualize and they add a touch of reality to fabricated stories.

I also like using actual locations in my own manuscripts. For instance, in The Ride when I needed a noisy backdrop, I had my characters meet at a popular restaurant. If the book wasn’t already published, I’d think about using a fictional eatery instead.

The article, “Crime novelist sued for setting plot around Paris landmark,” in the guardian.co.uk, has convinced me to resist this sort of temptation in the future and stick to totally fictional everything.

The article states:

When Lalie Walker set about using the Marché Saint Pierre as the setting for her latest crime thriller, she thought she was paying a nostalgic tribute to a much-loved Parisian landmark.

But, after reading her tale of a crazed killer who sews fear and loathing among the rolls of taffeta, the owners of the much-loved Montmartre fabric store have signalled that they do not appreciate her gesture.

Arguing that certain passages in her fictional depiction of a business rocked by threats, voodoo and staff abductions are defamatory, they are taking her to court and demanding €2m (£1.8m) in damages.

The author said she wrote the novel, Aux Malheurs des Dames, from an affectionate point of view, but the store’s director called it defamation, so the case is headed to the courtroom.

The head of the Parigramme publishing house stated that the book is clearly presented as fiction.

"At no moment does the novel imply that in everyday real life you are risking your life when buying a length of fabric," he said.

The lawyer for the same publishing house pointed out the Louvre didn’t attempt to sue Dan Brown for writing about murders taking place in the museum. I wonder if I should I add a “yet” here?

For Walker, the court case has come as a shock. "I think this is serious. It means that every time you want to write a fiction you have to ask the permission of the owners or the place," she said. "Potentially it represents a big threat to our liberty." She added, gloomily: "We will all have to end up writing science fiction instead."

Tess Gerritsen once wrote a blog about being threatened with a suit for using the actual name of an organ donantion bank in her book, Harvest. She said:

“I wrote back that the book is clearly labeled a novel, and that novels by definition were fiction. I also consulted with my publisher’s legal office, which told me to relax, that they get these sorts of letters all the time, and that since I had not said anything bad about NEOB, there really was no reason they could win a lawsuit. (But they admitted that NEOB could still choose to sue me.)”

I'm sure there are many more examples of this type of lawsuit. Have you heard of others? How do you feel about the use of real locations in fiction? Is using an actual site to tell a story worth the risk of being sued?

Thanks for stopping by.

Tags: Jean de la Bruyere , Lalie Walker, Marché Saint Pierre , Tess Garritsen,

So Many Ideas, So Little Time

“The way to get good ideas is to get lots of ideas, and throw the bad ones away."-Linus Pauling

Blogger friend and fellow writer, Alan Orloff, is in the middle of his Diamonds for the Dead World Blog Tour. I am honored and excited to be a stop on this fantastic tour. I'd recommend a visit to Alan’s blog for its entertainment value and for information about the future stops on his World Tour. I, for one, couldn’t resist clicking on a blog called A Million Blogging Monkeys. Now, without further ado, I’ll turn my blog over to Alan.

Thanks, Jane, for inviting me to guest blog. I hope your blog readers enjoy today’s “Ride.”

I think I'm like a lot of writers--I seem to have story ideas oozing from every pore. Unfortunately, like most people, my time is finite. So how do I determine which ideas to spend my precious time on?

Sometimes I wish the ideas got assigned, like high school writing projects. (Give me 1500 words on why Gatsby would have made a good modern-day accountant. And use complete sentences!) At least that way, I could put any doubt about the idea behind me and start cranking out the words.

No, freedom of choice has to rear its ugly head.

Before I run an idea through my gauntlet of criteria, I need to examine my goals. Different goals demand different criteria. If I'm writing for my own enjoyment or if I'm contemplating a short story, I won't care as much about writing something that won't "go anywhere."

But let's say I want to write a novel that (hopefully) will sell to a traditional publisher (and be successful). A worthy goal.

I ask the following questions about each idea. If I get a "yes" at every turn, then the idea stays alive.

Do the characters interest me? I'm going to be spending six months to a year with these people--I want them to be likeable (or, if they're not likeable, at least be interesting). Imagine spending nine months trapped in a dungeon with a blowhard cousin--ugh!

Is the concept/premise/hook clever/engaging/engrossing? Dullness stinks. There, I've said it.

Has it been done before? It has to either be a fresh concept, or a fresh twist on an old concept. Same old/same old might be easy to write, but it won't stand out among the thousands of manuscripts I'll be competing against. I want this thing to sell!

Will it have broad appeal? Again, I want this book to be successful, and the more people who might be interested in it, the better. Why narrow the potential market from the beginning? (Don't worry – if you’re intent on shooting yourself in the foot, there will be plenty of chances to do that later!)

Can I tell the story in 75 - 90K words? Market considerations intercede again.

Is it something I'd like to read? If it isn't, why bother? (Of course, by extension, if I'd like to read it, there must be others out there who would, too. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

Is it something my agent would like to read/represent? What good is an awesome horror novel sitting on your desk if your agent doesn't really like horror? I ask myself this every day as I look at the awesome horror novel sitting on my desk.

Is the research required “doable”? I'd like to write a book about exploring the depths of the ocean or exploring African jungles. But, well, I can't swim and I'm afraid of lions. Cross those ideas off the list.

Okay. I’ve asked the tough questions and weeded out the weaklings. Of the surviving ideas, how do I choose?

There's only one way.

I go with my gut.

Thank you, Alan. I tend to jump willy-nilly into a writing project, but next time I'm going to take a few minutes and ask myself those questions.

How do you decide on which project you want to tackle next?

Alan Orloff's debut mystery, DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD, was published this month by Midnight Ink. The first in his new series, KILLER ROUTINE - A Last Laff Mystery, featuring Channing Hayes, a stand-up comic with a tragic past, will be out Spring 2011 (also from Midnight Ink). For more info, visit http://www.alanorloff.com/

By the way, Diamonds for the Dead is available from your favorite book store and, of course, through Amazon.com.

Thanks for stopping by.


Tags: Linus Pauling, Alan Orloff, Diamonds for the Dead,

Lost or Destroyed Manuscripts

“Before the invention of Xerox, I’d have a copy made of my manuscript and put it in someone else’s house, on the assumption that two wouldn’t likely burn down at once.” Irving Wallace from Ocala Star-Banner, 9/23/1982

My biggest fear as an author is to lose changes to a WIP or discover the only copy of my manuscript had been destroyed. I think it’s a holdover from the days before I got smart and learned to back up my backups. I also now subscribe to an online data backup service. I had some scares and have had a few instances of losing some of my work but never an entire manuscript.

An article in the April Grandeur Magazine reminded me that other authors, prior to the age of the computer, have not been so lucky. The article was about Edna St. Vincent Millay during her stay on Sanibel in 1936. While she walked on the beach with her husband, the hotel they had been staying in burst into flames due to a kerosene heater. It was first reported that she had perished in the flames, but fortunately she survived. However, the only copy of her manuscript did not. The article goes on to say,

“The woman who wrote, ‘There isn’t a train I wouldn’t take, no matter where it’s going,’ is presumed to have then gotten as far away from the scene of bad luck as possible.”

I can’t blame her.

Even though there are times I find myself cursing my computer, I can’t imagine life without it, especially after reading about some other horror stories.

John Stuart Mills had to inform Thomas Carlyle that his manuscript, The History of the French Revolution, had accidently been thrown into the fire by a housemaid.

Ralph Ellison, author of Invisible Man, was well into his second novel when a fire destroyed his house. He lamented that he didn’t have a carbon copy. After the experience he bought a copier and fireproof files.

Ray Bradbury had twenty short stories stolen when someone broke into his aunt’s car. “They were after the briefcase, not my stories. But eventually I said, “The hell with it, I’ll do them over. If you can’t remember the idea it isn’t much of a story.”

Len Deighton once lost a manuscript in the mail between Ireland and England. “It was a terrible blow,” he said, “because all I had was a copy of a much earlier draft. I had to go back and try to remember, something that’s like running up and down on an escalator. Afterward he would show up at a shoe factory at the Irish village where he lived and the management would bring the factory to a halt while the author ran off a copy of his manuscript on the duplicating machine.

Many years ago William Buckley arrived in Peru with half of the completed manuscript of Cruising Speed in his briefcase. He was on an unofficial mission so when he noticed the briefcase missing, he let the ambassador think it contained the latest CIA plot to overthrow Allende. Soon everyone was looking for it and the briefcase, complete with manuscript was eventually found in the middle of the airport. He’s one of the lucky ones.

Have you ever lost part or all of a manuscript? How do you protect your work?

Be sure to visit next Monday when Alan Orloff, author of the recently released Diamonds for the Dead, will be my guest blogger. Though we haven’t decided on a topic, I can assure you that whatever Alan writes about will be fun and interesting. To find out more about Alan, visit his blog, A Million Blogging Monkeys, and website.

And if you are in the Naples, Florida area on Saturday, April 10, I hope you’ll visit the Authors and Book Festival sponsored by the Naples Press Club. I’ll be signing copies of The Ride at It’s All About Me on 5th Avenue between 3 and 6pm. You can find a full list of participating merchants and authors here.

Thanks for stopping by.

Tags: Irving Wallace, Edna Millay, Len Deighton, Bradbury, Alan Orloff, Naples Press Club,