Annoying Words and Phrases

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

With Christmas behind me, I can forget about shopping and focus on the upcoming New Year. I’d like to start 2011 off on the right foot. For instance, when speaking to people, I want to do my best to not irritate them with words or phrases they find annoying. Thanks to a recent Marist Poll of 1020 adults, I know the top five offenders.

“Whatever” heads the list as the most annoying word in the English language garnering 39% of the vote. “Like” was second with 28%. “You know what I mean” came in third with 15%. “To tell the truth” followed with 10%. “Actually” earned 5% of the vote.

According to their statistics, people over the age of 45 with no children in the household found “whatever” slightly more annoying than the group consisting of 18 to 29-year-olds. This second group found “like” more annoying. You can find the specifics of the demographic breakdown here.

Whatever is usually a conversation ender, so there’s less likelihood of it being overused during a single discussion than the other four words. However, none of annoying words bother me—maybe because I know I’ve used them all at one time or another.

If I had been asked, I would have nominated, “my bad.” Though I’ve learned that it’s a flippant apology, when I hear this phrase I want to ask, “My bad what?” My husband says this shows my age and my complaint would cause most people to LOL. He’s probably right.

Whatever.

What word or phrase would you select as the most annoying?

There are only a few days left to participate in Darcia Helle’s Indie Books Holiday Giveaway, so be sure to hurry over to enter if you’ve been procrastinating.

Wishing you all a safe, happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year.

Thanks for stopping by today. I hope to see you next week

Tags: Sam Rayburn, annoying words, my bad, Darcia Helle, Indie Books Giveaway,

Unusual Gifts for Writers

A book is a gift you can open again and again. – Garrison Keillor

Though I always have good intentions, I end up needing to make a couple of last minute purchases every year. As an author, I think I’m easy to please. I like paper, pens and books, books, books. Finding the right gift for some people, however, isn't so easy.

In my effort to come up with ideas, I stumbled across some unique gifts for the writers. Or perhaps you may want to buy something for yourself in order to rekindle your creative spirit.

Here’s a sampling:

At ShakespearesDen.com, you can find a Jane Austen action figure, complete with book (Pride & Prejudice, of course) and a writing desk with removable quill pen. William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens and Oscar Wilde action figures are also available.

If action figures aren’t your thing, they also offer literary figure plush toys and puppets. Though it seems rather irreverent to me, there ‘s even a Shakespeare rubber duck.

They offer more practical gifts, too. Such as coasters, wine charms, gargoyle bookworm bookends, and a silk tie covered in signatures of famous writers. Or there’s Who Dunn-it sticky notes that are shaped like a shoe print, thumbprint, and magnifying glass.

Theliterarygiftcompany.com offers a writer’s toolbox that contains a plot twist spinner and creative cards to help with writer’s block.

At fishseddy.com there are cute ceramic trays that look like lined writing tablets.

When inspiration strikes at 3 a.m., there’s a great throw-blanket with pictures and names of many well-known authors to keep your inspiration going and your body warm. You'll find this at The Professional Collection.

Do you have last minute shopping to do? What is your favorite writing gift that you bought for yourself or that someone has given you?

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas holiday.

Tags: Garrison Keillor, gifts for writers, Jane Austen, Shakespeare,

Methods Not to Use When Writing Detective Stories

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. – Arthur Conan Doyle, Sr.

I haven’t written a detective story, but I think it would be fun to try my hand at it someday. After all, I think they’re fun to read or to watch on TV. Like working a crossword without peeking at the answers, trying to figure out the “whodunit” part before it’s revealed is the main attraction for me.

As with any genre, there are rules about what you can and cannot do. I recently ran across a list of twenty "laws" on writing a detective story by S.S. Van Dine (pseudonym for Willard Huntington Wright). He died in 1939 before DNA and other sophisticated methods were used for crime solving, but his is an interesting list. I thought I’d share a few of his guidelines with you.

The reader must have equal opportunity with the detective for solving the mystery. All clues must be plainly stated and described.

There must be no love interest. The business in hand is to bring a criminal to the bar of justice, not to bring a lovelorn couple to the hymeneal altar.

The detective himself, or one of the official investigators, should never turn out to be the culprit. This is bald trickery, on a par with offering some one a bright penny for a five-dollar gold piece. It's false pretenses.

There simply must be a corpse in a detective novel, and the deader the corpse the better. No lesser crime than murder will suffice. Three hundred pages is far too much pother for a crime other than murder. After all, the reader's trouble and expenditure of energy must be rewarded.

A servant must not be chosen by the author as the culprit. This is begging a noble question. It is a too easy solution. The culprit must be a decidedly worth-while person — one that wouldn't ordinarily come under suspicion.

My favorite, though, is his last credo listing “…a few of the devices which no self-respecting detective story writer will now avail himself of.” According to Mr. Van Dine, “To use them is a confession of the author's ineptitude and lack of originality.”

The devices are: (a) Determining the identity of the culprit by comparing the butt of a cigarette left at the scene of the crime with the brand smoked by a suspect. (b) The bogus spiritualistic se'ance to frighten the culprit into giving himself away. (c) Forged fingerprints. (d) The dummy-figure alibi. (e) The dog that does not bark and thereby reveals the fact that the intruder is familiar. (f) The final pinning of the crime on a twin, or a relative who looks exactly like the suspected, but innocent, person. (g) The hypodermic syringe and the knockout drops. (h) The commission of the murder in a locked room after the police have actually broken in. (i) The word association test for guilt. (j) The cipher, or code letter, which is eventually unraveled by the sleuth.

If you write detective stories, do you follow Van Dine’s credos? Do you have your own set of rules? When reading a detective story, what sort of device irritates you?

For Van Dine's entire list, visit Gaslight.

If you haven’t already, remember to stop by to enter in Darcia Helle’s Indie Books Holiday Giveaway for your chance to win one of hundreds of print and eBooks. Entry is easy.

Thank you for stopping by today. I hope to see you next week.

Tags: Arthur Conan Doyle, S. S. Van Dine, Willard Huntington Wright , writing detective stories, Indie Books Giveaway,

Become a fictional character

A writer should create living people; people, not characters. A character is a caricature. - Ernest Hemingway

Author Jasper Fforde’s characters have the enviable ability to literally jump in and out of books. For instance, in the first book of the series, The Eyre Affair, when the villain Acheron Hades kidnaps Jane, it’s up to the protagonist, Tuesday Next, a special ops in the Literary Division, to save the title character and the book. In the second book, Lost in a Good Book, Tuesday Next hops in and out of The Trial (Kafka), Great Expectations (Dickens), Alice in Wonderland (Carroll), and The Raven (Poe).

What fun it would be if we were able to meet the characters of our favorite books in this manner.

Though it’s not possible to leap into books except in our imagination, there is now a way to become a character in a book by a prominent author. Through December 20th, authors including Thomas Perry, Jane Smiley, Stuart Woods, and Dave Eggers are featured on a charity auction on eBay to raise money for the First Amendment Project. Click here to see the entire list of writers involved.

The authors are auctioning off characters in future books. According to the site, “Your name can be an FBI agent or a stripper with a heart of gold in the next entry in Suzanne Brockmann’s Troubleshooters series; a villain or a victim in Thomas Perry’s next entry in the Jane Whitefield series, a wounded World War I soldier or drunken Bohemian in Andrew Sean Greer’s next novel, as a character in a new musical by Janet Burroway, or a character in a cartoon series by Ben Katchor, Chris Ware or T Campbell…”

The last time I checked, the highest bid was $500.00 for the stripper character in Brockmann’s series.

My characters tend to take control at some point in the writing process. I assume this happens to other writers. If the characters suddenly decide not be killed off or go down the path the author intended, it’s possible (though not probable) the winners might find themselves as the protagonist/antagonist in a popular new series.

Would you bid to have your name become a character in a book? What sort of character would you like to be? If you could pop into a book to mingle with the characters, which book would you choose?

Just a reminder about the opportunity to win books (no bidding required) at Darcia Helle’s Indie Books Holiday Giveaway. I’m excited to be among the forty-seven authors who are offering hundreds of free print and eBooks. Click here to see the list of participating authors and books. Entry is simple. Click here for the form.

Thank you for stopping by today. I hope to see you next week.

Tags: Hemingway, Fforde, The First Amendment Project, eBay auction, Darcia Helle, Indie Books Giveaway,