Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Funny Headlines

“Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.” – Mark Twain

It’s the time of year when my husband and I make our annual trip to the horse races in Hot Springs, Arkansas. We meet a group of wonderful friends, eat great pastrami sandwiches, watch with disbelief as our ‘sure winners’ come in last, and laugh a great deal. I thought I’d try to do a post or two that will leave you laughing (or at least smiling) too. Maybe with enough laughter in the air, we can change the doom and gloom atmosphere.

Here are a few from the 20 Funniest Newspaper Headlines Ever on Oddee:

Alton Attorney Accidently Sues Himself

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

Statistics show that Teen Pregnancy Drops off significantly after age 25

Ten Commandments, Supreme Court says some OK, some not

Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says

From Funny Newspaper Headlines on

Situations Vacant: Cleaner required, must be contentious

Autos killing 110 a Day; Let's Resolve to do Better

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan

Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One

Do you have a favorite headline you’d like to share?

Thanks for stopping by.

Tags: Twain, funny headlines, horse races, Hot Springs,


Anonymous said...

I love these. I did a post like this on Free spirit and also on the Blood Red Pencil. My personal favorite was one that said, "Red Tape Holds up Bridge."

I made the snide comment, "Hmm - I dunno, I think I'd feel safer with duct tape!" LOL

thanks for the chuckles!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I believe most of those headlines would receive the Darwin Award as well.

And Hot Springs is THE place to go in Arkansas! Actually, it's one of the only ones...
Sorry, couldn't resist taking a stab at a state that held me hostage for five years.

L. Diane Wolfe

Anonymous said...

Heh heh, that herpes one is great. Should be a no-brainer, but some folks need the reminder!

Tim J said...

I'm afraid this isn't a headling or a book title, but it's a definite favourite. It's from the instructions for a lab experiment when I was at university:

Please see Dr. Poirot for assistance when you are ready to evaporate.

It actually referred to evaporating aluminium onto a sample in a vacuum chamber, but I much preferred the image it conjured up!

Jane's Ride - Novelist Jane Kennedy Sutton's journey through the ups and downs of the writing, publishing and marketing world