Friday, March 27, 2009

Picking Winners

“I know nothing about racing and any money I put on a horse is a sort of insurance policy to prevent it winning.” – Frank Richardson

While at the track in Hot Springs, Arkansas, my racing experience is a lot like Mr. Richardson’s in the above quote. I’m sure my poor results are due to my unscientific method of trying to pick a winner. I don't see the point of betting on a ‘sure thing.’ My strategy is to place money on the long shot with the best or funniest name. So today, while I’m off deciding which horse to ‘insure,’ I’ll leave you with my list of ten funny book titles for you to pick a winner. Bear in mind that these are actual books:

If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?! by Cynthia Heimel

When Your Phone Doesn't Ring, It'll Be Me by Cynthia Heimel

Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Goodbye by Cynthia Heimel

Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home by Dave Barry

Things I Heard While Talking To Myself by Alan Alda

The Earth, My Butt and Other Big Round Things by Carolyn Mackler

Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits by Celia Rivenbark

Napoleon's Privates: 2,500 Years of History Unzipped by Tony Perrottet

Life Doesn't Begin 5 Pounds from Now by Jessica Weiner

Is This Thing On?: A Computer Handbook for Late Bloomers, Technophobes, and the Kicking & Screaming by Stokes, Abby, Sloan, Michael, Yule, Hunt

I selected these ten after visiting,, and Readers It was difficult to pick only ten, so if you’d like to read more funny titles, drop by those sites.

Which title is your favorite? Or, do you have a funny book title that you’d like to add to the list?

Thanks for stopping by.

Tags: Frank Richardson, heimel, Dave Berry,Alan Alda, Horse races, Hot Springs, Funny Titles,


Anonymous said...

LOL - these are hysterical - can't pick a favorite, they're ALL a stitch. Thanks for the chuckles!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Things I Heard While Talking To Myself and The Earth, My Butt and Other Big Round Things are my favorites.

I always thought Steal This Book! was a clever title, too.

L. Diane Wolfe

Bob Sanchez said...

These are great! I especially like Dave Barry's.

Was Steal This Book by Jerry Rubin? I vaguely remember it.

Bob Sanchez

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

I think Steal This Book was by Abbie Hoffman - and that is a great title too.

Morgan Mandel said...

I'm not good at picking horses. One reason is I go for the long shots so I can win lots of money, but they usually don't come in.

Morgan Mandel

Helen Ginger said...

There was one book that I thought had a great title. I may not be remembering it right, but it was something like:
If I Had Killed You When I Met You, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now.

Or was that a song?


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